Perspective

Alot has changed in our lives since the arrival of baby WW. BJ and I were just talking about it the other day. There are so many things we wouldn't have thought of doing in public (like singing) and now it's no big deal. Lately WW loves the song "the itsy bitsy spider". He loves that we walk the itsy bitsy spider up his legs and belly and face, and then the rain comes down, and the sun comes up and dries up all the rain etc. etc. He really can't get enough of it. So he will be upset in the car, and I'll start singing from the back seat, first the itsy bitsy spider, then the great big hairy spider, then the teenie tiny spider (changing my voice accordingly of course), and WW will be happy as can be... stop singing and he's upset again. When BJ and I first got married I wouldn't even sing happy birthday to him. Even back in high school Elesa, Kaycee and I would be in the car, they would sing Disney duets and I'd be making the requests... my favorite if you were wondering was "Kiss the girl" from the little mermaid.

Back to what I was getting at... we've changed individually, and as a couple to accommodate this new addition to our family, and it is really neat to see how we have matured... even if we are singing silly songs and reading children's books. My perspective on live has changed so much as well... I recognize how much my actions, decisions and attitude affect my little family. It of course started when BJ and I got married. I was no longer looking out for just me... I became less willing to buy new things for myself (my poor shoe collection has suffered), I had someone to call home to if I planned to be out later than expected, and I was worried if he was out later than expected. Dinner was for two, lunches for two, activities planned normally included him... and this was all definitely an adjustment... realistically you come from two very separate households and each families way in our minds was the right way... eventually you find "your" way and things work well...

Now that we've added a baby to the mix, our bed time is whenever WWt is ready to go to bed for the night. We stay home if he is cranky or upset. We plan around babysitters and nap times... and we'll continue to have to adjust as he gets older or other babies come into our family... but you really realize how lucky you are, and how lucky he is to have been born into a family with parents that love him to death, and grandparents always willing to babysit or bring over something we need... in general a family who is willing to make those adjustments.

The responsibility of a mother is HUGE. I feel it everywhere. Am I dressing him warm enough, is he strapped into his car seat tight enough, has he had enough to eat, when was the last time I gave him a bath, why hasn't he rolled over yet, do I read enough stories, and sing enough songs... I definitely feel very inadequate alot of the time. He depends on me for everything and I just hope I measure up... We had an enrichment lesson a few weeks ago for our RS Christmas dinner. There were musical numbers about Jesus Christ, and Mary and one really made me think... I should get a copy of the lyrics, but the premise was "Mary did you know..." Did she know her baby boy would be the Saviour of the World... What a huge responsibility was placed in her hands... and I feel that a huge responsibility has been placed on our hands... this baby that has entered our family and brought us so much happiness has alot of life ahead of him... and it's up to me to help him reach is fullest potential... I hope I measure up!