32 weeks-ish

We are nearing the end of pregnancy and I'm starting to worry about caring for another one of these teeny tiny beings. It has been a LONG time since I've been responsible for anything this small and that is scary. Lately though, I've been more scared of the birth than the baby afterwards. I was chatting to a friend the other night about it, and she made a very good point. With a first baby you are afraid of the unknown, you don't know what labor and delivery will be like... but with baby number 2 and on, you know full well what it's like, along with the recovery, "damage" and following baby care. I'm nervous!!!

Bike Riding.

WW got this great little tricycle for his first birthday, it starts at a little rocking bike, and then transforms into a tricycle with a handle for parental help. He is now almost 3 and has never been able to figure out the pedaling. Until now!!!!

We are thinking of getting him a big boy bike for his 3rd birthday. I'm thrilled that he will be able to pedal it!

Easter

We had a great Easter weekend this year. We had BJ home and were able to get out in the beautiful weather with friends and family. We started a tradition with some dear friends to go to Fort. Edmonton Park for their Easter celebration. It was a lot of fun this year because the kids were a little bit older and were able to participate more independently. They hunted for eggs, got tattoos, colored easter eggs, planted seeds, pet animals. Fort Edmonton puts on a great program, we'll be back next year for sure!

This creepy turkey seemed to follow us around, but I'm sure everyone in the whole petting zoo felt that way. WW was much more brave than I, I wouldn't have gotten that close.
These two are the best of friends. Here they are sharing their candy loot they get after trading in the eggs they have hunted.
Planting a bean seed, I just love watching these two together!
Easter morning. Ready to find the treats the Easter Bunny left for him. He had quite a pail full by the end.
Pure excitement. He couldn't believe that all the treats were for him. He showed us every one of them.

Sunday afternoon we drove out to Sedgewick AB. for Easter dinner with the Drevers. BJ's mom's side of the family. It is always nice to see them, and the food is always delicious.

Monday was with my side of the family. BJ had to work days, so WW and I spend the day at my parents helping with the meal, going for a walk and relaxing. Another delicious meal followed with some time spent with my side of the family.

I just love holidays! Great food and great company!!

Let's go fly a kite.

I just love days when BJ is home with us, he is just much more fun that I am. WW got this amazing kite last year for his birthday from my sister. It was a fish, and it really was the easiest kite to fly. WW fell in LOVE with kites. This winter they had more kites at Costco, and so WW and BJ picked up a new dragon kite to add to our collection. Everyday WW has asked to fly his kite! It is now warm enough, and the snow is gone, so out we went to fly his kite.

You should have seen his happy kite smile. I forgot my camera at first so I ran back home to get it, and then we tried to re-create the excited look on his face. Not quite the smile I had seen earlier, but so cute anyway. He was waiting patiently for his dad to put the kite together and get it up in the air.
It was the perfect wind day- BJ says we need to look for a Lazy flag, and that should be perfect. They ended up with the kite all the way up as far as the string would go, and then BJ hands the handle over to WW. If we are having trouble keeping the kite up WW still holds the handle and BJ fiddles with the string. WW is pretty proud of his skills.

The dragon kite!
My sweet boys, what a lucky girl I am to have them in my life!

After kite flying we hit up the park with WW's cousin JJ. We watch him about once a week while his mom goes to work. It's so nice to get the boys out in the fresh air. They both had their rubber boots on so we made sure to find a few puddles on the way as well. What a great day out in the sun!

Cleaning

I feel that cleaning my house is an unending battle. A HUGE frustration and I just don't see it improving in the near future. I'm definitely open to suggestions as to how to make my house immaculate full time without it taking me so much time.

Currently, I have one day a week that I spend the whole day cleaning, I clean top to bottom, complete numerous loads of laundry and it's done. It works o.k for now because it's just one day I buckle down and do my thing, but it never stays clean very long, and then once it gets out of control I spend another whole day cleaning.

I have also heard of these cleaning cards that I borrowed from a lady in my ward. There are certain things you do everyday- like pick up each room, and do dishes etc, but then there is only one or two other things that you spread out throughout the other days of the week so you end up spending maybe an hour a day cleaning, and you stay on top of it all. Plus there are weekly, monthly, and yearly tasks that fit in there too so your home is constantly beautiful and sparkling clean.

Now I'm all on board for the cards, because it's right up my alley with a list of things to complete and then you move on to the rest of your day, but I'm finding that I've been in my old habit of full day cleaning for so long that I have a hard time breaking it. That and some days are MUCH busier with other things or places to be that I may not get that days card done... and once you're behind it difficult to get back on track without cleaning the whole house top to bottom. See my trouble.

Now the other concern I have is that I really like a clean house, I find that my behavior, mood, and desire to participate in extra-curricular activities is affected by the state of my house. Yesterday for example, I was over sensitive, moody and not so nice, and I honestly think it was my brains response to the disorganization of my house. Today, I spent the morning scrubbing toilets and I'm happy as a clam.

I'd love to hear your systems for cleaning. Any suggestions would be wonderful for my home, sanity and poor husband (who gets the majority of my grumpiness).

Play date

I just thought I'd post some pictures from a playdate WW and I had with SH and her two kids. We went to the playground above the Kinsmen pool, which is set up for younger kids, and so easier for our babies to get around and have a good time. AL and WW are the best of friends, WW always looks forward to the time he gets to spend with his little girlfriend.

Sweet JA has become a super little walker, and showed us the whole time he was there. He kept running for the door!

On another note, WW has been really into crafts for as long as he was capable, but we bought him some new scissors and glue for Christmas, so we've been cutting and glueing alot. Mostly little valentines, but today he helped me with a special project. This is our countdown to baby chain. Each of the multicolor loops is weeks remaining, and then the solid yellow at the top are days remaining. We had fun glueing it all together, but WW didn't feel bad reminding me how long the chain was. Looks like we still have quite a ways to go.

Babies

Baby Fixsen 15 weeks

Baby Fixsen 19 weeks.

Well it's true, the B&L Fixsen family are expecting again. We really are thrilled, but have been hesitant to announce or post anything due to previous heartbreak and loss. I wasn't actually planning to post at all, but inevitably people have started to find out and so for my own record I've decided to write a little bit about how we are doing and how things have gone up to this point.

Others may relate to how I'm feeling, having been pregnant also... but this pregnancy really has been very stressful. I long for the days when I was pregnant for the very first time and didn't even think that something as terrible as miscarriage could happen to all, let alone to me. Especially in the first 12 weeks and really up until I started to feel it move everyday I have been worried that something might happen, and have been cautious about how attached I feel etc. Anyone who knows me, understands how crazy I get when we decide to try and get pregnant, but it really must have been the worst this time around. For example I banned Brett from the Hot Tub till I was pregnant. :) I wasn't willing to take any chances.

My doctor has been great and super supportive. We had an ultrasound at 7 weeks just to ease my mind that baby was there, and growing well and heart was beating. Then we had another at 15 weeks (which was when I lost the first baby) because we don't know what caused that one ( babies heart was beating strong the day we miscarried) so I just wanted to be sure that it wasn't a incompetent cervix (Too much information sorry). So far everything really has gone so smoothly this time around, and although we weren't able to tell the sex at our 18ish week ultrasound I am very excited to try the true surprise one time around and then I'll know which way I prefer.

It can actually be a blessing to not know the sex. I feel confident that I would have had a much harder time with my miscarriages if I had known what each baby had been. It almost becomes a real individual when it becomes a boy or a girl, so not knowing allowed me to grieve a loss, but not become all caught up in what could have been with my little boy/girl.

Our due date is the day after WW 3rd birthday and so I'm going to do my best to deliver either before or after the 25th. Just so the two will have individual birthdays. :) I had always planned to have babies 2 years apart, but that just wasn't in the cards for us this time... I am looking on the positive side though that WW will be such an amazing helper, and instead of two babies, I'll have a preschooler and an infant. It may make the transition from one to two a little smoother.

Future updates to follow I'm sure.